Tales of the Two-Wheeled Commuter.

Hand Signals, What’s Wrong With It.

This morning as I was taking the Mini-Me to school with the pedal powered minivan I came to a T-intersection on the bike path that I needed to turn left across. As any good cyclist with years decades of riding experience I looked well ahead, saw someone coming and my shepherd dog brain calculated that we were going to intersect at about the same time. So I slowed down so I could keep some momentum as they ride by and then I can turn.

Except it didn't turn out that way. As I slowed down, they slowed down, and soon enough it felt like we were in a wild west standoff as I brought the 2-Ton Dually to a stop and performed my best trackstand that probably looked like I was wrangling an 8-foot alligator...because that's what it is some days.

And then....and then...AND THEN....after this whole dance, right at the intersection...

They stuck their left hand straight up in the air, pointed their thumb to the right and turned.

Heysooo Crisco!

Now look, I have been on earth long enough to know that hand signals are a thing that cyclists do, that they are technically rooted in some kind of legitimate traffic law history, and that the people who use them are genuinely trying to communicate with the world around them in good faith, which I respect, I truly do. I also understand why the left hand is the “legal” method because drivers obviously can’t reach across the car to point out the right window. I may only have two brain cells to rub together, but I use those two brain cells well I promise.

The hand signal system that cyclists have inherited was designed for cars — specifically for cars that didn't yet have turn signals — which is a problem that was solved so long ago that the people who lived through it are no longer available for comment, and yet here we are, decades into the future, with perfectly functional arms that are capable of pointing directly at the thing we are about to do, but we're out here doing jazz hands at the sky instead…

It wasn’t so much that in my case they were pointing their hand skyward, like an homage to their deity after scoring a touchdown, it was just a combo of straddling a cargo bike the size of my father-in-laws ocean going fishing boat while trying not to tip over into a ditch, as my son attempts to return their high five and saying “bye, bye,” and then using an antiquated method. You cant say I’m not self-aware.

Point left. Point right. That's it. That's the whole system, and honestly the only hand signal worth carrying over from the car playbook is the stop — arm out, palm down and to the left, pushing toward the ground like you're trying to slow a toddler from running into traffic...which, for better or worse, is exactly how most drivers see us anyway, so we might as well lean into it. I even add a little flourish and angle my palm slightly, patting the air down with some authority, because if the vibe is already "unpredictable small creature in the road" then I'm going to at least be the most communicative unpredictable small creature in the road.

Just aim it at the actual direction you're going and trust that the ancient and universal animal instinct of that person is pointing at a thing will do the rest of the work for you. There is even research that says this is the most receptive form of communication that drivers understand.

Again, plan ahead. This makes me want to adopt the adage that

“a good driver occasionally misses their turn, a bad driver never misses their turn” but for cyclists now. The more time you can give people to react, especially motorists, makes us all safer and probably less ready to burn the world down.

Of course this is controversial. Some of you may even accuse me of victim blaming my fellow cyclist (y’all haven’t even heard my stories of motorists hiring Bike Law affiliated lawyers to sue cyclists yet! Talk about victim blaming…). So maybe we should just skip the whole hand signal debate entirely and let a blinking amber light do the talking for us. I’m now going to search Amazon for turn signals I can bolt onto the Dutch Dump Truck. Surely someone has already thought of this…